Happy Birthday Chickybabe

 

 

 

 

 

    Happy birthday Chickybabe.

    Each year on this day I think back to the first occurrence of this day. What occurred, what had to happen, who brought you into the world.

    As you grew, I use to think that the worst thing that could occur was that your life would be taken by accident - vehicular, illness,  abduction - I never though that the worst thing that could occur would be that your life would be taken by alienation.

    I am sorry.

    You have now been out of my life longer than you were in it, and your grandfather - Poppy, has lost the grandchildren he tried to recapture life with - after his children were taken by alienation.

    And you will probably do the same, should you choose to have children.

    Happy birthday, my child.

Happy Birthday Ming

 

Happy birthday Ming.

It's a been a long time since we last spoke. I can't recall how long it is. I recall what was said, and how I was away.

In the last sixty days I've lost the man who taught me to parent, a parent I cared for and a co-parent. I kept to myself since I got here because of the damage that was done before I left.

How's your Goddaughter? You might know more than I, but the loss of the girls broke me. 

I went back to work on my book last week. In particular, I changed the part where I mentioned you and your wife. I had not used your names through the first few drafts - not because I didn't want to, but because I felt that you and D didn't need the "publicity" that might come when the book came out. I prefer to think of the two of you as the couple who could point to the book and go "he's talking about us there." There is a section where your words read "If he comes here, it's because no one else believe in him."

I have change it, to include your name, not because the words have changed, the relationship has changed. You were #thefirstfan and people should know, even if it's not the case now.

Happy birthday Anthony, from your fan. Your friend. 

Lap 54, Day 162

 

Second half. 

As the California "stay at home" orders continue to escalate with the returning surge of Covid-19, the desire to write is,,,diminishing. It's not that I don't have the discipline, it's more along the lines that other than medical facilities, it's been five months inside the same room.  Some call it cabin fever.

I always thought that I could single handed sail long distances. Not necessarily a circumnavigation, but I thought I could do oceanic crossings, stay a while, continue on. Maybe I will have that ability one day but after five months, I'm no so sure.

Today I celebrated another lap of the solar system and head out again, without my daughters. In a conversation with my Father this evening I spoke briefly about them. He, the man who lost his own children, but regained them miraculously, was a better Father than I. I never regained mine.

Still, I had lasagna tonight as if they were here. 

Happy Birthday Chickybabe

  Happy birthday Chickybabe.

  Today, my eldest daughter, turns 30.

  When I was 30, I was already separated, on the cusp of divorce, with two daughters I cared for more than...well, more than my own relationships and career. I had already won two sailing titles and the third would come the following year, but it was the girls that were my greatest achievement.

  I had also isolated one of my parents from my daughters when they were unable to follow through on the manner in which their mother and I had wanted the girls to be brought up. I would later isolate the other parent, my Father, however, he would see the error of his ways and that would be repaired.

  As expected, my Father was a better man than me. I have been isolated from the girls and it has not been repaired.

  I taught my daughters not to allow evil in to their lives, and to keep it at bay. I never envisaged that I would be the evil they keep at bay. But, unlike where I made my own choice, their choice has been influenced by their mother, and their grandmother.  Two people whom were unable to follow through in the manner in which their mother and I wanted the girls to be brought up. Being a little over 7000 miles away and unable to counter any, and all, evils by these people, I was always playing from behind.

  With no voice to counter them, the girls unknowingly succumbed to their evil.

  It is too late for my girls.

  The days are long and the years go by fast.

  My eldest is 30 today. I have been out of her life more than I have been in it.

  Happy birthday Chickybabe. I never left you.

One Last Time

  Thanksgiving is upon us, and shortly, Christmas. Between the two is my father's birthday.

  I am grateful for my Father's health, that I have one more opportunity to be with him on his birthday. Dad was away on Exercise with the Army while I was growing up, that I rarely shared his, or my, birthday with him.

  As my daughters were growing up, I made it a point. Being so far away from own grandparents growing up, I never saw them either.

  Now that I live 7752 miles from my father, it's not such a simple task to drop by. It's certainly a lot further than my Grandparents ever traveled to see me.

  Not everyone gets "one last time" to go home.

Happy 75th Birthday, Dad.

My father turns 75 today.

A milestone birthday, and this year, I was away, once again.

What can I say, my father is better Dad than I am

Happy birthday Dad, from Texas.